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• What's in a name? Plenty if you want to make a statement

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I’ve always wanted to be in a band. I want the whole experience—live shows full of screaming fans, platinum selling albums decorated in artsy photography, and a team of roadies to tune my guitars to perfect pitch for every song. ...however, the closest I’ve ever been to that was the one time I played Rockband in front of the boys on the fourth floor of Hopkins Hall.

I’d like to think that if I ever did have a band though, naming it would be the most critical part of the process. I mean, a band’s name could make or break them, it can make an album sell or bust! It either looks good on a t-shirt or it doesn’t, and it better look amazing if you want the teenage girls to provide your band with easy, free advertising.

I may not have a band, but I’ve thought long and hard about how to name one. For all you guitar-playing rock n’ rollers, make sure you come up with a name that fits your style perfectly.

If you like to you use the term “indie” as a genre, and are digging the experimental sounds and philosophical lyrics, your name has to be simple. A safe bet for indie bands is body parts. Bright Eyes, Radiohead, and The Shins are all good role models for the underground subculture.

When taking the '90s boy band route, the key is making your crew of synchronized dancers sound as manly as possible—think Backstreet Boys and Boys II Men. Both sound like they’re at least trying to be tough to make up for their poppy lyrics.

There is no better guilty pleasure than those screaming punk bands that attract throngs of teenage girls to shows. If simple, catchy guitar riffs and songs of romance gone wrong is your thing, you need to have a seemingly meaningless title that grabs attention, preferably with a noun and a color. Think along the lines of Green Day and Amber Pacific.

If you’re a child star, millionaire's daughter, or actor, the naming of your music should not require any thought whatsoever...unless you find spelling your name correctly too much to ask for. In the instances of people who are just looking for another way to juice their 30 seconds of fame, it seems sticking to their real name is the best bet. It “worked” for Paris Hilton and Hilary Duff at least.

Although personally, I have never (EVER) been into screaming, roaring, I-hate-my-dad music, I have to give them props for their ability to name themselves. Although often a bit morbid, metal bands come up with some of the sweetest band names out there. I feel like “bad ass” is somehow subliminally engraved in the titles of August Burns Red, As I Lay Dying, and Valient Thorr.

Of course, for every well-named band out there, there are at least five bad ones. So take the Chumbawamba’s of the music world with a grain of salt, because after all, a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.