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When I was growing up in the country, we had a gas tank we used to fill up our cars, lawnmowers, tractors, etc. Like anything that a person doesn’t want stolen, we’d keep it locked all the time. Sometimes in the winter, the lock would freeze and would need to be unthawed before it worked. The ideal way to do this was to pour hot water on it until the key would go in. Once as I was about to leave for college, I was in a hurry and picked up a disposable lighter because it seemed like that would be much faster. Fortunately, my dad was there to quickly point out that putting a flame near a gas tank was actually not a good idea. Technically, I might have gotten to school very fast in this way, but only because various parts of my exploding body would have landed near the campus. Even then, I was not always the sharpest knife in the drawer, but what scares me now is how much company I have.
The weird thing is, I’m not even from Oklahoma. The only reason I’m picking on them is because they were in the news recently for having some pretty unsmart high school kids. I’m sure it’s not just them. Hell, the whole country has already proven we (or at least the ones of us ignorant enough to go on game shows) are not smarter than a fifth grader. Strangely, we seem to think this sort of thing is kind of funny for some reason. It doesn’t strike me as all that hilarious, but if it really is funny, Oklahoma is the freaking comedy capital of the world.
The Oklahoma Council on Public Affairs conducted a survey of high school students to find out their basic knowledge of civics. I’m sure at least half of them thought they were asking about a particular car that is made by Honda. One in four of the students couldn’t name the first President of the United States. I mean, geez Louise, shouldn’t just about everyone living in the US know that? It’s not like it’s number fourteen (which is Franklin Pierce, by the way, but I had to look it up). It’s number freaking one and he’s on the dollar bill. The dollar bill, by the way, may well end up being the largest piece of currency you will ever have if you don’t know who the first president was.
Is it so bad to be smart now? I’m sure dumb is easier in a really creepy way, but is it better? Because of this, I wondered if I was a hypocrite. Sure, I know the first president, but do I still remember the other things on the citizenship test that people have to take. It turns out I do, but not quite as well as I thought I did.
In one question, they ask to whom the government of the United States of America is accountable. The answer is, of course, the people of the U.S. Just knowing something like that might make a person a whole hell of a lot smarter when they step into the voting booth. The bad part is, if you don’t know the answer, you’ll assume the government can do whatever it wants to you. It’s probably true, but it’s still nice to know about an antiquated theory.
They ask about who takes over office if the president and vice president are incapacitated. For about five seconds I quickly assumed it was the Secretary of State, before regrouping and remembering it was the Speaker of the House. Fine, this may just be getting old and not remembering, but it also may be that it just didn’t seem important enough to keep in my short-term memory files. Either way, I wish that wasn’t the case.
There are 435 seats in the House of Representatives. I got this correct, but only because it was multiple choice. The father of our country is George Washington. I remember in high school, we joked that it was my friend, Mark, who happened to impregnate his classmates rather frequently, but that was only a joke. Woodrow Wilson was president during WWI. I got that right, but once again, the multiple choice saved my ass. There were more questions, all of about that difficulty, and I ended up doing okay, but I missed one or two. I’m fine with that, but the sad part is that there were questions I didn’t know. I should probably be deported.
It’s not funny to be dumb. It’s not cute. It’s not attractive. It doesn’t bode well for the future. It’s not really anything besides really, really terrible. High school is a weird time for kids, and I know learning about our Constitution probably doesn’t seem particularly fun or useful to them right now. The thing is, it will be useful for them some day soon. For example, this knowledge may seem super handy the first time they get arrested for robbing a convenience store or selling meth, which I’m sure is just a few short weeks after graduation for many of them. It’s not just the kids in Oklahoma. It’s probably most of us. We should all take a little extra time and try to be smarter. I’m sure it’s not nearly as bad as we think.
Sound Off
Last post: Oct. 8, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Nikki (Nikki Blight) said on Oct. 8, 2009 at 3:20 pm:
I blame Wikipedia. No, really. Youth today doesn't bother memorizing they way people in their late 20s and up had to. They've literally got the answers at their fingertips in the form of sites like Wikipedia, Google, and Yahoo Answers.