Movie Review - 10,000 B.C.

This fossil should stay buried

10,000 B.C.

1:00 pm Mar 8 - by Dan Puzzo – Buzz Writer

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    10,000 B.C.


    Buzz says:   MPAA Rating: PG-13
    Current Showtimes: No showtimes available

    As a fan of Roland Emmerich’s 1996 blockbuster Independence Day, I was hopeful the director could reverse the trends of his later films like Godzilla (ugh) and the visually rich but otherwise bland The Day After Tomorrow.

    Unfortunately Emmerich’s latest, 10,000 B.C., proves to be his weakest effort yet, with a limping plotline that is both maddeningly unbelievable (even for historical fiction) and insufferably boring.

    As the title suggests, 10,000 B.C. is an adventure set in the ancient past involving a mammoth hunter’s (Steven Strait) quest to save his tribe and love interest from a barbaric long-lost civilization.

    Anxious to showcase the exotic landscapes and beasts that supposedly inhabited our planet at this time, the filmmakers squeezed several continents to within what seems like miles of each other. Thus, the protagonists (who travel on foot) can descend frigid mountains to find a lush jungle at the bottom, which in turn abruptly transitions into an ancient Egyptian desert.

    This laughable mash-up of sets serves to fit in as many CG mammoths, saber-tooth tigers, and oversized birds as the budget allowed. These beasts are fun to watch, but they don’t have as much presence in the film as one might gather from the extensive marketing campaign.

    Also, while the visuals may be handsome (aside from one scene packed with so many computer effects that the picture actually stutters like an old PC trying to run a new game) they’re no justification for throwing away your money on this empty film.

    I can’t imagine anyone who would actually enjoy this movie, even on an ironic level, but if random prophecies and domesticated mammoths constructing pyramids (seriously!) are your thing, then the local theater will be happy to get your business.

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    The views expressed are the sole responsibility of the visitors who submitted them and do no represent the opinions of the217, WPGU, buzz or Illini Media staff members.

    Last post: Mar. 13, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    Jeff Brandt (Jeff Brandt) said on Mar. 13, 2008 at 5:16 pm:

    Wow. Like an old PC trying to run a new game. That sounds very, very painful to watch. This movie must be even more avoidable than Bank Job.

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