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Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are about to get a divorce. They are all gathered in the courtroom and the proceeding begins. The judge is going over the papers. He takes a look and glances to Mickey. “I see here you’re getting divorced because Minnie is crazy.” Mickey replies, “I didn’t say she was crazy. I said she was fucking Goofy.” Okay, first off, I’ll admit I mostly just like that joke a whole bunch, but maybe there really is something to it. In our society, we have a pretty wide range of crazy. These days, we sort of just assume everyone is crazy whether or not we’re offered much evidence either way. Sadly, it turns out this may be the correct assumption. Our biggest problem now isn’t spotting crazy, it’s figuring out what the piss to do about it.
Last weekend I was reading an article about a book called The Depression Cure: A 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs. I should point out that while I’m sure the book is very good, I found reading the article took far less time and hopefully I got the just of it. If not, whatever, I wasn’t feeling depressed much either way. I should also point out that I don’t think we’re really supposed to use the term “crazy” for mental illness anymore. Once again, um whatever. We all know what crazy means, so let’s just go with that. Anyway …
Steven Ilardi, a psychologist at the University of Kansas wrote this book and he thinks our modern day environment is causing much of the craziness these days. Our brains are blasted with emails, tragic world news, and generally over-busy lives to the point where it can actually cause brain damage. He didn’t mention reality shows, our freakish consumption of Michael Jackson death news, or my dumbass column, but I would imagine those are all contributing to our collective crazy a pretty significant amount also. Before we all start freaking out and acting crazy though, he did offer a few tips to keep us all on an even keel.
First off, we’re supposed to balance our omegas. We need more omega 3 fats, like in fish and nuts, and we need less omega 6 fats, like the ones found in grain fed meat. Who knows, maybe that’s why I’m so happy all the time, because I eat quite a bit of fish these days. Oh, I’m still betting I’m happy because of the liquor, but you never know. In a perfect world, I think we should skip the grain and begin feeding our cattle only fish. This will result in a healthier cow and thusly a happy person eating said cow.
We also need to get more sleep. Well, fantastic. You don’t have to tell me twice. A hundred years ago, we averaged nine hours of sleep per night, compared with the less than seven hours many of us get now. Hell, there have been times when nine hours was dangerously close to the weekly total. Getting more sleep is far easier said than done, especially if you’re supposed to go along with the rest of the folks. I could usually sleep for eight or nine hours each afternoon, but work generally makes this impossible. Each evening, when I actually have the time to get plenty of shuteye, I’m not sleepy in the least. It may be time to finally implement some new business hours to accommodate the nappy amongst us.
We also need to seek more social support. I should quickly point out that you should seek this support from someone other than myself because that sort of thing gets on my nerves in a big way. The thing he points out is that we’re basically one bag assed global village these days, so we’re feeling a little small most of the time. Its one thing to be the best fisherman in a small village, but its tough to realize you probably aren’t the best fisherman in the world. Being aware of things outside of our communities is actually hurting our fragile little egos. Being a simpleton may finally be paying some dividends.
We also need to exercise, and apparently walking to the refrigerator for another beer doesn’t count. Our ancestors did manual labor most of the day and they were apparently much happier for it. Either that or they were simply just too damned tired to care much. Hey, if it works, it works. We also need to not dwell so much on our problems, even if dwelling has became our favorite hobby of late. We need to get some sun. Lastly, and this is from me, not the author, we really just need to stop acting like we’re crazy to begin with.
I sort of think the guy may be on to something overall though. This new world may be making each of us crazy. Everything seems like too much sometimes, too many choices, too much information. We have too much of everything, it seems, except time. I constantly hear people say there aren’t enough hours in the day to complete all of the tasks that are on their plates. I’m sure this feels like the case most of the time. It really only leaves a person with a couple of options, go ahead and catch that train to Crazytown, or go ahead a get a smaller plate. I don’t think any of us like either option all that much.
Editor’s Note: We have received a number of negative responses to Coulter’s column in the July 23 issue of buzz. Community members have raised concerns with the article insulting and misrepresenting French culture. Do note that Coulter’s column does not reflect the views and opinions of buzz magazine.
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