• the217
• LGBT
• The danger of social constructs

Comparing the identity of the LGBT community society creates versus how each individual member of the LGBT community defines his or herself is where I feel some of the strife between different groups of people begins.

Other than the friends I have in the LGBT community, I remember one experience that inspired me to become an ally. I was home during Christmas break a few years ago. At this point, I had never been in a relationship. I still haven’t to this day. This became a subject of curiosity for one of my neighbors, who turned to my dad and frankly asked, “Eric likes girls, doesn’t he?” My dad said yes, as I was within an earshot of the conversation, somewhat angry that this man was implying that I was gay. I have friends from all different walks of life, but at that moment, I realized what it felt like to be unpopular based on an assumption.

I felt for only a moment the pressures of our society to become involved in one type of relationship. This man hadn’t thought to ask me about it. Maybe then he would have learned that due to a physical disability, I felt a lacking in confidence that I assumed many girls look for in a prospective relationship. I believed that girls are interested in successful and strong men. I had created a vicious cycle, just like my neighbor, assuming something about attraction and meaningful relationships.

As I wished my neighbor would’ve taken the time to speak to me, I ask everyone to reach out and learn about others the best they can. Perhaps I would be in a relationship if I looked beyond categorizing people, even though it is more convenient and requires less effort. The dangers of social construction is that people blindly follow a popular view, thus denying themselves social interaction. The world is composed of so much more than what lies behind our front doors.

In recently playing a simple game of Apples to Apples I was able to learn not only more about myself and grow, but also about some of the misconceptions a white heterosexual male such as myself has toward a portion of the student body. This game lets people put their ideals and opinions on the table, quite literally.

For those of you who haven’t heard of Apples to Apples or played the game, the ultimate goal is to try to best match a green card, or adjective card, with a variety of topics/nouns ranging from famous individuals, celebrities and pop culture icons. Throughout the course of the night, players hope to have their card picked among a myriad of others, and thus win the green adjective card. After winning a set number of these green cards, a player is declared the winner.There often is no rhyme or reason and each player gets a turn to pick which card they like the best.

As the game progresses players may be able to guess what the other players might have picked at the end of each round. In a way the game is psychological in nature. A social experiment if you will, which is partly why I believe the game is so popular. You try and predict a person’s mood and whether they will pick cards based on how logical, illogical, serious or funny the answers appear to be.

Anyway, during this particularly enlightening game, I was getting to know some new people and having fun. About an hour or so in, it was once again my time to choose the winning card. The green card was “offensive” and I have to say I was a little nervous as to which red cards people might put down. One of the players told me that I would pick her card. I went through them, and as I looked at one of the cards it said “marriage.” I was slightly confused. I thought that marriage represented a wonderful promise of undying and unwavering love. To her, she saw it as offensive. She said that if someone was truly gay, they would find it offensive. We moved on, but I was glad that she had said that. It gave me something to think about. The titles of “marriage” and “union” mean two very separate things. They aren’t equivalent to each other as one is meant only for a man and a woman. Now, I don't know for sure if this was the only reason the word "marriage" was offensive to her, but it made me take a step back and think and become more open, learning a lesson from a game.