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• Talking to your provider about sexual health

Talking about sexual issues can be difficult. Discomfort can increase when we want or need to discuss aspects of our sexual health with a doctor or other healthcare provider. We may wonder how to bring up the topic or what they might be thinking if we answer their questions honestly. This week, “Doin’ It Well” decided to drop in on the conversation between patient and provider.

Some people may ask family or friends or look to Web sites to get answers to their sexual health questions. Those can be good sources of information, but sometimes they may not be as accurate as a person trained in the field of reproductive healthcare. That’s where medical providers can help out.

The Best Medicine

As we move into adulthood, we begin to take care of our healthcare needs without our parents’ help. When it comes to the area of sexual health, we may not want our parents involved. This means we have to learn to speak up for ourselves to get the sexual health care we need and deserve.

Seeing a healthcare provider can be the best medicine; assuming you’ve been as honest as you can with them, they know you and your medical and sexual history.

Remember, healthcare providers are there to make you well in the immediate sense. It may take time and investment on your end to talk with someone else about more lasting behavior changes to best protect your health.

But It’s Private

Our sexuality, including our sexual health, is usually considered private. While that varies from person to person, this makes it difficult for those accessing sexual healthcare and those providing that care to be really comfortable talking about intimate issues.

It can be intimidating and uncomfortable to talk about something so personal, especially when it comes to sexuality, a topic that often gets layered with moral judgment. Keep in mind that regardless of your concern, your healthcare provider has most likely heard it and seen it before and their goal is to provide you with good medical care and keep you healthy.

If you notice your provider behaving awkwardly, it may be that they know this is a personal issue and don’t want you to be uncomfortable. It’s OK to say, “I worry you’ll judge me” or “I feel like I’m being judged.” They may not realize how they come across, and they may not be judging you at all. They may be thinking about what you’ve said and the best care to provide.

Starting the Talk

When you call to make an appointment, tell your healthcare provider that you have sexual health questions. That might allow for an “opening” for the provider to ask you questions and start the conversation.

Before your appointment, write down the questions and concerns you have. You can ask any questions you want; they do not need to be related to any physical problems you might be having. Or, do an online assessment such as the one at http://www.stdwizard.org, and print out the results to bring to your appointment to show your provider. You can also include these if you fill out a “reason for visit” or “sexual history” form.

If you don’t feel like you can verbalize your questions, simply hand the provider your list. By communicating that you are uncomfortable discussing this topic, it will allow them to say something comforting to put you at ease.

When to Visit the Doc

You should visit your provider whenever you have questions about your health, such as if you believe you have been exposed to an STD, if you experience pain, discomfort, itching, bleeding, burning, etc. The earlier you get symptoms checked out, the better; it can prevent any further complications.

Of course, prevention is the best medicine, so if you’re going to be or currently are sexually active, make an appointment with your healthcare provider to discuss strategies to protect your health and make healthy decisions.

At the end of the day, most healthcare providers just want to see you well and healthy. They want to provide the best possible care they can. At the same time, it’s their job to give you advice on how to be healthy, even if it may not be what we want to hear.

Stay tuned next week as we talk about sex and drugs.