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Thinking about work while you’re outside of work is a funny thing. There’s an old saying: Never drink at work, and never talk about work while you’re drinking. I usually try to follow that the best I can. The first part of it is pretty easy, but the second part of it can seem impossible at times. Whatever work we happen to do, if we care about it in any way, it eventually seems like it consumes us. The thing is, if you don’t hate your job, there’s really nothing wrong with it playing an important role in your life. It shouldn’t be more important than family, but work is pretty damned important in the overall scheme of things. It’s a big part of each of us. For some folks out there, work can become an absolute integral part of their life, and that seems like it would almost take all the fun out of it.

Last week or so, WalletPop.com had a list of some jobs that people can run away to during tough times. A lot of them actually seemed kind of enjoyable — work and fun all combined. They all had their specific set of perks and special treats, but while it was nice to dream for a few moments about such work, as usual, I could find plenty reasons why I think I’d still stick to my regular job.

The first job they focused on was a cruise ship worker. OK, that sounds pretty good off the top. You get free travel, plenty of sun and some kick-ass uniforms to wear around. I’m sure it’s also not unlike The Love Boat TV show, where you even get to bang a passenger every once in awhile. There are probably countless types of jobs needed to keep a big happy-assed ship running, too. My biggest concern would be that the last time I was deep sea fishing, I spent a large portion of the excursion throwing up breakfast, water and possibly a piece of gum I swallowed in high school. That is no way to live a life.

Moving on, the next job was to join the military. Soldier work doesn’t seem all that great to me, but it could be worse, considering it has free room and board, health and dental care and a variety of different uniforms. In all honesty, I don’t even think I’d be bothered that much if they made me shoot at strangers in a foreign land. I would, however, be scared shitless if those strangers in a foreign land decided to shoot back. I have enough trouble dodging people in the hallway. I think dodging bullets might be a bit more than I could handle.

Another option is to be a nanny. You get that room and board once again, but that just doesn’t seem like enough. I didn’t much like hanging out with little kids when I was a little kid. I’m sure it would be far worse for me these days. The same thing would apply to being a camp counselor. Besides, I don’t think the advice I would give a young adult is necessarily the advice they should be getting from an authority figure. On the other hand, I could virtually guarantee their high school years would be more fun than a barrel of monkeys, even after you consider the jail time involved.

One job that did seem sort of intriguing was a ranch hand. I’m sure I’m romanticizing it far more than I should, though. I still see it like it was in the Old West movies: ride a horse around, lasso some cattle, get drunk, hit on a saloon girl, maybe even have an afternoon gunfight. In reality, I’m guessing it’s some hard-assed work that’s about as far from glamorous as a person can get. The perception is probably far off from the reality. I’d also have to let the crew chief know I’d really prefer not to have to work on Brokeback Mountain. Really, being a ranch hand seems like it’s got a few too many variables for my liking.

My favorite suggestion was becoming a carny — you know, a person who works in a traveling carnival. As a child, I’ll admit I found them to be fairly disagreeable folks, but my opinion may have changed since I’ve become an adult. I will have to say, I can eat the shit out of the corn dogs, and a lemon shake-up isn’t the worst drink I’ve ever had. Still, I also have to admit that I really enjoy showering on a regular basis, not having my fingers cut off by machinery and not having gonorrhea. I think I really have to pass on this one, too.

Actually, it all sounds sort of nice and exciting to go out and find a job that’s your life, but like I said in the beginning, for me, it’s just a fun little daydream. I don’t hate working as it is. Sure, there are times I don’t want to go, but that’s just the nature of such a thing. In reality, I’d be lost without it. Most of the time, it’s actually sort of fun. The thing is, it’s also sort of fun to come the hell home and be away from it for 15 or so hours. Sure, I may still think about it when I’m away from it, but that’s a long way from actually living the work 24/7. There’d just be too many numbers to fill out on the overtime report.