I love seeing bands live. I’ll be the first to admit that I love it a little less than I used to, but I still love it. Way back whenever, I was like a housewife at a superstore. I wanted to see the most music I could for the lowest price. These days, I can’t really pay attention to anything for more than an hour or so, so I pick and choose a little more discriminately. There are still a few folks out there that I could watch for days on end, no matter what they’re playing, doing, or saying. I was fortunate enough to see one of those folks last week. Tom Waits was in St. Louis at the, um, okay I’ll just say it and be sort of prissy, the “breathtaking” Fox Theatre. The only way I could describe such a venue is to say that it seemed to be the sort of place where a fella like me probably shouldn’t be welcome. It’s almost like going back in time. The ceilings are higher than a high schooler at a Phish concert. The detail is incredible and when you walk inside and it all hits you at once, it really does sort of take your breath away.

Tom Waits sort of does the same thing to me. I’ve only seen him once before, several years back in Chicago, and all I can really say is that the show is mesmerizing and wonderful. Not all that much really happens except for a guy singing in front of a band, but it somehow appears to be much more than that. It’s seems like a carnival. In Chicago, all he had in the way of props was an old derby with mirrors on it that he would reflect into the crowd. It’s not exactly a laser show, but it seemed to be exactly what was needed.

At this show, there was a background with several megaphones hanging from it, a couple of bright cubes, and the band. Tom stood in the middle, stomping his foot every so often to create a cloud of dust or to ring a bell. The songs were lovely, intriguing, or both, depending on the selection. His voice was the way people always describe it, sort of gravelly. He knocked it out hardcore for about two hours and my attention never left the stage.

I should offer a disclaimer here that you could all probably already guess. No matter how good it was, something had to piss me off. Oh, it might seem like it was a perfect evening. Actually, it could have been exactly that, had there not have been people in the audience. I should clarify that. It wasn’t the people in the audience that hindered the show. It was simply the douche bags that made the show less than perfect, and let me tell you, there were plenty of them.

I know, I know, it’s a night out and a person wants to have a good time. I also understand that different people have a different idea of what a good time is. I am also very confident that my idea of a good time is much more relevant than every one else’s. It’s not Motley Crue and there’s simply no reason to scream the whole damned time. It’s just not that kind of party. We all know you like Tom Waits. In fact, we know you like him so much that you paid a hundred dollars just to be in the same room as him.

That being said, just because you bought a ticket and like him, it doesn’t mean you should yell “I love you!” in his direction every time there is a quiet moment in the show. It also doesn’t mean that your friends should also say you like him on a semi-regular basis. Seriously, what exactly do you think the outcome will be if you scream “Mary Sue loves you!” at a guy on a stage three hundred feet away? I’m joking, of course, I’m sure many people have gotten together in such a scenario, idiots.

I know there are a ton of reality TV shows on these days, and I know it seems like everyone, or even anyone, can become famous. That doesn’t mean everyone, or anyone, should attempt to become a part of the show if they aren’t asked. There was really only one famous person in that theatre and he’d earned that fame by writing and performing some amazing music. A couple of douche bag hecklers haven’t really earned the right to share a room with Tom Waits, let alone a moment in the middle of a song.

All I’m saying is that it’s sometimes a nice idea to be courteous to the performer and the other audience members. One good idea is to show your appreciation at the end of a song by simply clapping. It’s weird. Clapping has been recognized for thousands of years as a way to how approval and it’s still relevant in these times. Clapping works.

I’m not saying there can’t be a better way to show appreciation. I’m just saying whatever way that might be, it probably isn’t going to be suddenly invented by a few drunken morons in St. Louis on a Thursday night ... no matter how hard they try.