Chrono-Beards

Pink Freud: an intellectual journey into beardness

Chrono-Beards Vol I

7:00 pm Sep 13 - by Drake Baer – Arts + Stage Editor

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The man himself. Courtesy of Wikipedia.

    Sigmund Freud

    Age: 152

    Nationality: Austrian

    Sign: Taurus

    Beard color: White

    Beard consistency: Thick

    Beard control: High

    Mood: Apathetic

    Religion: Skeptical

    Snow white and neatly trimmed, Freud would have been the crunkest dude at the that hipster mustache party last semester (or last night). His impeccable attention to detail in the upkeep of facial hair makes Sigmund Freud the introductory figure in the series. The Jawbreaker proudly donned one of history's most memorable beards during his post-pubescent career. During his youth in Vienna, Freud displayed an alacrity and proclivity for dick jokes. A born phalophile, Freud progressed through his early years without his trusty beard. His mother wanted him to shave before temple, causing irreparable damage. Perhaps his greatest contribution to the human endeavor was the basic beard lexicon: the razor, the moralizer, the regulator of social norms, or superego; the jawline, the organizer of the beard, or ego; and the instinctual, impulsive and ultimately destructive agent that is the beard, or id. Also, the dude thought everything was boners – er, bonkers. Sorry, Freudian slip.

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    The views expressed are the sole responsibility of the visitors who submitted them and do no represent the opinions of the217, WPGU, buzz or Illini Media staff members.

    Last post: Sep. 15, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    Jeff Brandt (Jeff Brandt) said on Sep. 15, 2008 at 9:39 pm:

    I'd let him interpret my dreams any day.

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