Whether they’ll admit it or not, most folks sort of like to work. Yeah, everyone complains about it constantly, but they still sort of like it. If they didn’t have work, what the piss would they have to bitch about? Some people say they like work because they are driven, some just because they need the money, but I would assume that almost all of the people fall somewhere in between the two camps. I never believe anyone who says they would do a job even if they didn’t get paid. I also never believe anyone who says they do something only for the money. People need jobs and our jobs fill some sort of void in us, even if we sort of hate it.

It’s sad when anyone loses a job. Still, I understand when a company is not doing well and has to let people go. Those people at least have a possibility of finding work somewhere down the line. What’s really sad to me is when a person’s job is phased out, not just from their company, but from society in general. Think of all those poor fellas a hundred years ago who spent four years in blacksmith college only to see their dream give way to the automobile. They were the pager salesmen of the previous century.

Hell, even the oldest profession isn’t what it used to be. Don’t get me wrong, there are still prostitutes; it’s just becoming more specialized than it used to be. These days, you never hear of regular old whores. The specialized workforce of crack whores has pretty much taken over the industry. Even they shouldn’t get too comfortable, because I’m sure the meth whores are hot on their tails ... um, so to speak. It’s not as poignant as John Henry and the steam locomotive, but it’s probably still apt.

Even some jobs that seemed pretty safe are falling by the wayside. I ran across a list of jobs that could be disappearing soon and it’s pretty interesting. The No. 1 type of job that could not be around long is inspectors. I’m assuming they mean in factories and not just those guys with the T-shirts that say “Booty Inspector” on it. I’m not sure how legitimate those guys really were to begin with. Anyway, machines do most of the testing now so it’s a career in danger.

Data entry folks are also close to going to checking out. Most companies contract that sort of work out. It’s probably for the best as I imagine a job such as that will eventually drive a person completely insane. File and order clerks are in basically the same boat. Most companies have automated systems that can do these things far more efficiently. I’ll assume this whole “computer revolution” is going to keep building steam, so I’m betting these sorts of people are out of luck in their employment future.

Along those same lines, photographic processors are freaking dinosaurs. Just about everyone has a digital camera and can print their pictures out themselves. Fortunately, those little Photomat booths are probably pretty easy to convert to ... well, at least they’re easy to tear down. Telephone operators should also start pounding the bricks. That’s too bad, as I often enjoy trying to converse with them when I’m in a drunken stupor trying to find the number of a pizza place that will deliver at five in the morning. It’s really the little things you miss.

Pharmacy aides are in danger as well. If those jobs disappear, it might be a fine idea to keep a pretty close watch on those employees on their last day. It’s one thing to help yourself to a stapler or a box of pens just to stick it to the man, but 10 or 12 bottles of liquid morphine is a completely different matter.

Radio and television announcers are quickly becoming a thing of the past. Everything is all automated now, so there’s just no need for them. I bet they will annoy the piss out of everyone at the unemployment office when they bitch about the long lines in those big booming voices of theirs.

Floral designers are also ending up on the short end of the stick. The Internet florists pretty much nip local designers in the bud. I’m very aware of the poor pun in the previous sentence, and apologize for it in no way whatsoever.

Lastly, the No. 10 job in danger is the telemarketer. The “Do Not Call” list has pretty much put those bitches in their graves. That’s really a shame because I used to enjoy keeping that whistle by my phone and hoping one of those rat bastards would piss off the wrong guy for the last time. Actually, I talk a good game and I admit I tried blowing the whistle into the receiver one time. The telemarketer simply hung up and my dog tried to jump through a window. All in all, the experience wasn’t all that rewarding.

I hope that if and when these jobs go south, the people who got pushed out will be able to find other jobs somewhere. Actually, the telemarketers pretty much still haven’t paid the debt to society, but I wish the others the best. The job market is getting tougher out there though, so it could be a long road. They say when God closes a door, he opens a window. Let’s just hope there’s not a screen in it.