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• Movie Showdown: Christmas Day battle royale

Christmas day sucks. The magic that is the Christmas season is beginning to diminish, and nothing big even happens prior to Christmas morning/afternoon. Even suburban Chicago radio station extraordinaire, the Holiday Lite, ends its streak of non-stop Christmas music at the day’s end. Movie studios realize that Christmas evening is usually dull, and thus present a cinematic onslaught of new releases upon the local movie theater every year on December 25. This year is no exception, as five huge films are partaking in the Christmas day multiplex bloodbath. Marley & Me, The Spirit, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Bedtime Stories, and Valkyrie all hope to lure audiences in as the reign of Santa comes to a close. Which of these five hopefuls has the potential to satisfy audiences’ movie cravings of the night, and which will likely present nothing more than a cinematic lump of coal? What better way to determine a winner than through a round-by-round fight.

ROUND 1

Tom Cruise is like this century’s Titanic. Beautiful, successful, and powerful ... yet ultimately doomed. His extreme views about Scientology, prescription medicine, and Brooke Shields, to name a few, have definitely made many Americans weary of the once staggeringly successful actor. Even a hilarious cameo in Tropic Thunder doesn’t seem to be able to save Valkyrie from abysmal box office receipts. The film has been troubled for years, and its much-publicized behind-the-scenes drama seems far more interesting than anything that will be presented onscreen. Valkyrie is an easy choice to rule out in a field of much stronger films.

Valkyrie knocked out.

ROUND 2

Will The Spirit be this year’s Sin City? One would think so, based on the trailers and artwork for the film, as well as the presence of Sin City author Frank Miller behind the camera, yet one thing stands in the way: the film’s rating. The Spirit has been slapped with a too-tame PG-13, which means that the exuberant, excessive, highly-stylized gore found in Sin City will be watered-down here. Although The Spirit appears beautiful to look at, looks alone cannot save a movie, and neither can stars who typically are not able to bring in large crowds just by their presence. Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes, Gabriel Macht, Jaime King, and Samuel L. Jackson round out the cast, and Jackson really is the only audience-grabbing name of the bunch. Based on a series of comic books, The Spirit will ultimately please its core audience, but will most likely do little more for the average movie-goer.

The Spirit knocked out.

ROUND 3

This is where it gets a big tougher. Bedtime Stories, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and Marley & Me all have big potential, but another one needs to bite the dust. Although the cast and director of Bedtime Stories have had huge recent success (Adam Sandler marked a return to top comedic for in You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, Keri Russell scored a critical home-run in Waitress, and director Adam Shankman’s last film was the enormously successful audience and critical hit Hairspray) and the film looks adorable based on the trailer, it still is not as must-see as The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Marley & Me. Centering around a man whose bedtime stories come to life after he tells them, this Disney film will no doubt be cutesy and fun, yet maybe it’s more of a later-in-the-week film than a Christmas day film. People will surely see this movie, but it is not imperative to go on Christmas day, as some other releases seem to pack more of a punch.

Bedtime Stories knocked out.

ROUND 4

Oh boy is this one a tough call. On one hand, we have The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, with its numerous critical accolades and challenging story of a man who ages backwards. The film, based on the short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, is being called magical, beautiful, and thrilling. Brad Pitt appears to be at the top of his game in the title role, as does Cate Blanchett as Pitt’s love interest, and director David Fincher had proven that he is a directorial force to be reckoned with after such mesmerizing films as Fight Club and Zodiac. This film is sure to inspire both the heart and the mind, and is not to be missed. However, for a Christmas day pick my final vote has to go for Marley & Me. The film looks thoroughly entertaining, as well as completely adorable. The story of a family who learns lessons on life and love from the world’s worst dog, Marley & Me will no doubt pull at the heartstrings of everyone in the audience. Dog movies can tend to be repetitive and manipulative, yet this one seems to have a higher pedigree. It’s directed by David Frankel (The Devil Wears Prada) and stars Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson, not to mention an adorable yellow lab. This is a film that the whole family can attend together, and I don’t see a safer bet for an excellent movie to rush to on Christmas day.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button knocked out.

WHAT TO SEE ON CHRISTMAS DAY: Marley & Me

(But still see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button as I bet it will be fantastic.)