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When we think of the prostate, we may think about prostate health or even prostate cancer. However, the prostate plays a major role in sexual arousal, ejaculation and orgasm. In fact, the male prostate gland is analogous to the Skene’s glands that make up the female G-spot, and men who have orgasms with prostate stimulation describe intense sensations similar to women with G-spot stimulation. So “Doin’ It Well” felt that it was about time to explore and learn more about the mysterious P-spot.

Prostate Facts

The prostate is a walnut-sized gland surrounding the urethra just underneath the bladder and in front of the rectum. During ejaculation, the male prostate secretes an alkaline fluid along with the sperm and seminal fluid, neutralizing the vagina’s acidity, increasing sperm motility and life span. During sex, the prostate gland stores up this fluid, and its smooth muscles help to eject it during ejaculation. (Note: Prostate fluid is not the same as pre-cum, which is produced in the Cowper’s glands, small glands at the base of the penis.)

The prostate is also even more directly connected to sexual function. Bundles of nerves on either side of the prostate control the relaxation of muscles, allowing blood to fill up the penis and create an erection. When the prostate is manually stimulated, the receiver may get an erection (even during non-sexual contact, such as a prostate exam) and experience sexual arousal.

Tickling Your P-Spot

Because the prostate is an internal gland, the most direct way to stimulate it is through the rectal wall. The prostate may also be indirectly stimulated by applying pressure on the perineum, the area between the base of the penis and the anus. Fingers or receptive anal sex are common ways to stimulate the prostate, but there are also a number of toys and vibrators designed especially for prostate pleasure. As with any anal play, you may want to use the bathroom beforehand to empty the rectum. Also, you may want to take a bath or shower (alone or with your partner) to clean the outside of the anus and just inside the rectum. Use a soapy finger or washcloth. If you plan to use your hands, make sure your fingernails are smooth so as not to scratch the rectum. Or for safer play, wear a latex glove. Using plenty of lube, insert your finger slowly into the anus. By pressing on the front of the rectum (toward the penis), you will feel a small bump through the rectal wall. With your finger, you can make a “come here” motion and stroke the prostate gently. This may give the receiver a feeling of fullness in the rectum similar to having to use the bathroom. By experimenting with different pressure and strokes (back and forth, circular, etc.) on the prostate, the receiver will be able to note different sensations and find out what’s most pleasurable for him. During receptive anal sex, the penetrating partner can also talk with the receiver about angles and positions that give him the best prostate stimulation.

In addition to using prostate stimulation to achieve orgasm, some men practice “prostate milking,” a practice of stroking the prostate to release seminal fluid. Some people believe this has health benefits to the prostate, whereas others practice it as part of orgasm denial and BDSM power play. After the seminal fluids are released (a.k.a. milked), it may take a while for the individual to achieve orgasm again, even though no orgasm has occurred.

Boy Toy

When finding a toy for prostate stimulation, be sure to do your research. All anal toys should have a flared base to keep them from being sucked into the rectum. Additionally, the toy should have a slight curve to place pressure on the prostate. One highly recommended toy is the Aneros prostate massager, but there are many plugs, dildos and vibrators designed especially for tickling your P-spot. Find which one is right for you.

Take Care of Your P-Spot

For many reasons, many men are reluctant to think about — let alone talk to their doctor about! — their prostate. But one in six men will have prostate cancer during their lifetime. If you are older than 50, it is important to have a manual prostate exam yearly. During a prostate exam, the doctor will insert a finger into the rectum to manually feel the back of the prostate for enlargement or lumps. If you notice any of the following symptoms, it is important to talk to your medical provider:

Frequent need to urinate

Difficulty stopping or starting urine stream

Painful or burning urination

Difficulty achieving an erection

Blood in urine or semen

Painful ejaculation

If you have one or more of these symptoms, it does not necessarily mean that you have prostate disease, but it is important to have it checked out. Remember, a healthy prostate means a healthy sex life!

Check us out next week as we talk reproductive justice.