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Fisting is a sexual act in which an entire fist and sometimes part of the arm are inserted into the vagina or anus/rectum. The act of fisting often gets either sensationalized or is the subject of tall tales and misinformation. If not done with knowledge and care, fisting can cause injury, yet few resources exist to help folks understand the ins and outs of proper fisting.

This week, “Doin’ It Well” decided to provide an introduction to fisting. This column is just an introduction, not a guide. Fisting is an art that takes a lot of knowledge, skill, practice and communication.

How is that Pleasurable?

Many people enjoy activities that test and stretch the limit of the human body and mind such as marathon runners or those who climb Mount Everest. This kind of enjoyment can be applied to sexual activity too.

Trust and relinquishing control may be central to the appeal of fisting. Part of the psychological pleasure is the voluntary release of control, being vulnerable and giving up to another person. Fisting is not about having power over someone but the power of being able to give someone extreme pleasure and being responsible and skilled enough to do so.

Physically, some people enjoy the sensation of fullness that fisting provides. Spasms can occur as the muscles react to the bulk inside the rectum which can lead to an “anal orgasm.” In addition, advance practitioners of fisting may experiment with massaging internal organs such as the prostate in men or cervix in women, which can add to the pleasure of sexual climax.

A Sensual Act

Fisting is a caring act done without any kind of force. Contrary to the images the word “fisting” might evoke, it is not about violence, agression or hurting yourself or a partner. Practioners of fisting take great care to protect their health so they can continue to enjoy fisting. The honesty, openness, trust and talking that is required for good fisting is not often a part of other sexual acts and can intensify feelings of bonding, mutual respect and caring for a partner.

Getting a Handle on Handballing

Handballing is a term often used by gay men to describe anal fisting. Regardless if you are male or female and engaging in vaginal or anal play, fisting should not involve pain. Skill in properly inserting and receiving a fist must be learned. Those interested should spend significant time learning about fisting beforehand (check out the “Sex 411” below).

The focus of fisting is not on thrusting. Fisting is about learning to control, relax and stretch muscles. This is developed over time, not accomplished with one try. Being able to actually take a fist can take months or longer to learn and be ready for; each person goes at their own pace. A fisting scene can last an hour or many hours, due to the time it takes for a person to be “ready” — aroused, relaxed and open enough for fisting to take place.

Doin’ It Well

Risks, although relatively rare, can include tears to the anus or the lining of the vagina or rectum. To avoid tears, keep fingernails short and filed, and use latex or silicone gloves.

Although it may be difficult, those engaging in fisting should talk to a trusted healthcare provider about their activities and consult them if they ever have any questions or worry something may be wrong.

Avoid drug use, including painkillers, muscle relaxers and alcohol, as they significantly increase the risk of injury and block the sensation, awareness and control needed for a safe fisting experience. This is true for both the bottom and the top; a careless top can injure you!

Lots of lube is key to fisting. Water-based lubes aren’t usually enough for anal fisting, so many folks use Crisco or elbow grease. Both of these will break down latex (use polyurethane gloves instead) but provide excellent staying power. Petroleum jelly is not recommended, as it can stick to the walls of the vagina or rectum, increasing the development of bacteria. Even with good lube, additional lube is frequently reapplied during fisting.

Open Up

Communication is very important with fisting; a top must be very in-tune with a bottom, and the bottom must communicate directly and openly to the top. If there is pain, slow down, stop or gently remove the hand.

If you are new to fisting, let your partner know, regardless if you are a top or bottom. It’s very important that your partner know your level of experience with either penetrating or receiving a fist.

Check us out next week as we sniff around sex and smell.