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• Editor's Note

While I consider myself more of an expert on Green Street than Wall Street, I’m starting to get legitimately worried about the economy. Monday the stock market took its biggest blow since the days following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, and the Fed was forced to do the unthinkable and come to the rescue of American International Group with an $85 billion loan. The New York Times called the move the “most radical intervention in private business in the central bank’s history.” Yikes.

But this rescue could possibly just be the Fed desperately throwing money into a failing economy. This economic shift toward the shitter has inspired many to pull out of the market before it gets worse.

While I have very limited insight into what will happen to the US economy, I can’t help but wonder what these changes mean for people in CU. How will these changes affect the job market that thousands of University students plan on entering in the next year (including me)? If there are very few jobs how are we going to pay off our student loans? How long before the economy bounces back?

The good news is that all the growth and development in CU is a sign we’ll probably be ok in the middle of the country, at least for now. If I can’t get a job in journalism, my backup plan is to become a street performer and hustle dollar bills out of the pockets of townies. I will dress in a hot pink jumpsuit and white gloves and mime my way down Walnut Street in Champaign and blog about it.

As for the loans, I will pay them off with my second job as a waitress or bartender. I will complain about not using my degree and look for jobs on the side until things bounces back miraculously, at which point I will hopefully land my dream job because of the hardcore blogging I did in my miming days. It will be my version of the American dream during the Great Depression numero dos.

But if all that falls through, I’m totally screwed, so someone in a position of power needs to do something quickly. Maybe the political propagandists working on some of these campaigns could do some pro bono work and inspire people to reinvest their money so we don’t re-enter the Stone Age. But that seems less likely to work than if we just ride it out and hope for the best.