• the217
• Life
• Editor's Note

This week I finished up my summer economics class at Parkland, and, let me tell you, it was a bitch. The class itself was basic and reasonable, with reasonable deadlines and expectations - nothing uncalled for. My strategy for such a class illustrates exactly why people like me should never take online classes and why online classes are amazing.

Just to get this out of the way, I decided to take this class at Parkland because there was no way in hell I was going to pass it at the University. I had already tried and failed.

This is no surprise given that my life revolves around the fact that I will procrastinate until the last possible moment to complete anything related to school. I get some sort of sick thrill when I finish an assignment at the last possible second, only to get a passing or exceptional grade on it. It is this self-serving, beat-the-system feeling I seek out when writing a paper or completing an assignment. With an online class it seems like this mentality is on steroids, and the stress and frenzy that overwhelms me while trying to watch hours of video lectures, complete 15 quizzes and an exam or two in one day is a case of academic ‘roid rage.

My instructor for this course provided a suggested timeline for completing assignments, including daily doses of lectures and quizzes that would be reasonable for someone who is organized, methodical and everything I’m not. I looked at these timelines and wished longingly that I could be trusted with such a regimented schedule. But alas, that first day of the recommended timeline would roll around and I would make up excuses that would prevent me from completing such assignments, like “work,” and “fun.”

Then, the final day I would wake up early, over-caffeinate myself, and set up shop in the buzz office for 10 hours straight. I made myself into an economics machine for the day, and clicked and Googled with a fury until every last assignment was marked “complete.”

In the end, I passed the class with a humble 79.94 percent, which I am hoping (pretty please) will get bumped up to a B.

To some of you this sounds like a cautionary tale about the danger of online classes. To others, it is a tale of hope. The new semester is on the horizon; so let it be known that procrastinators can succeed too. Just don’t expect stellar results.