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• Cogito Homo: [Queer] Road Less Traveled

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I have been reminded time after time that Queer people are often underrepresented and scorned in the Heterosexist world we all live in. What I am about to write is in no way an attempt to do away with the above fact. We are often demonized or just plain ridiculed on many levels. However, Queer people also share in some of the greatest benefits I can find.

I know that plenty people in the Queer community just want to be treated as "normal" and share the same desire for a white picket fence and a couple of kids as our heterosexual counterparts do. And I honestly think we should let everyone get married, be happy and blah blah blah. On the other hand, one of the coolest things about being a part of a community that has been banished to the outskirts of society is that we can make up our own rules. Due to the fact that state and federal marriage in America is a territory we may clench and lose simultaneously, those of us who wish to spend the rest of our lives together need to think of other alternatives. For example, some couples have been married by the local church they attend. While this does depend on your religious affiliation, the idea is what counts. And there is less of a question of the individual(s) involved "doing it for the money." Personally, I would take a contract made between myself and my significant other more seriously than a contract between myself and partner and government and society as a whole.

We also do not have to worry as much about following prescribed gender norms. Some of us find certain gender performances sexy, and I can totally see how it is. However, for those of us with a gender (or genders) that is not so easily embraced by the wider society, we can still find a home in our Queer communities. I will admit that this also depends on a variety of factors (where you live, how much internalized homophobia we have all taken in, etc.) but I still cannot help but think that being involved in an ostracized larger community can help in some way.

I suppose the overall message is that I think it is fantastic that we aren't the "norm" and so many of us DON'T want the lifestyles that are placed on Straight people. I have met so many Straight people who say that they will most likely get married after college because that the next step that Straight society has given them. Because Queer people are not automatically included in this "checkpoint step" we are left to make up our own "checkpoints." While I will admit that this is scary and that it would probably help some people to have our own list of "Queer steps," it leaves so much room to take the road "less traveled" and find our own happiness.