• the217
• Life
• CAUTION: Technology in the driver's seat

Driving is a funny thing. I think everyone thinks deep in their heart that they are a good driver. If you’ve spent any time on the roadway, I’m sure you know this is far from the truth. A turn signal doesn’t necessarily mean a person is planning to turn, particularly if the signal has been on for more than eight blocks. Some people apparently see significant value in getting their car up to 50 mph between stop signs a hundred yards apart. Most drivers believe that whole turning right on red is mandatory and immediate. It’s nice that we all think we’re good drivers. The problem is that we’re really the only person thinking that.

Driving has suddenly become pretty complicated. It’s understandable, I suppose. There was a time when you could just sort of pay attention and drive somewhere. Now we feel obligated to talk on the cell phone, read a novel, put on makeup, and reorganize the glove compartment, all while trying to keep the vehicle between a couple of pesky lines painted on the road. It’s really quite a lot to be responsible for.

Old folks often get blamed for being the worst drivers. I can sort of see it, but when I really think about it, I’m not sure they’re really terrible drivers, it’s just that they do everything far slower than the rest of us are used to. When my parents go out for a day on the town, they usually take another couple with them. I believe this to be a good thing. If you put one old person behind the wheel, I’m sure many of their instincts are a bit below par. If you put four old people in the car together, however, they actually add up to one nearly functioning person.

For example, if my dad is driving, he doesn’t see or hear very well, but he is very quick and alert. My dad’s friend, Les, is not especially alert, but his hearing is excellent. My mom can see virtually anything, and Edna, who shares the back seat with her, is very adept at determining various smells. You put all of their strengths together and you’ve got yourself a fairly decent set of skills. So, Dad by himself, maybe a little dangerous, Dad with three other semi-functioning people, almost safe and competent.

Toyota is about to change all of that though. They are beginning to develop cars that help seniors drive more safely. They plan to do this with technology and they’re getting some help from the folks at Nintendo who created those “Brain Age” games. I don’t know, it sounds great to me. I know seniors love nothing more than technology, computers, and video games. Old folks are all about the latest gimmicks, after all, so it sounds like a match made in heaven.

They haven’t really released many specifics about what these new additions to cars will be, but they say they “envision future cars will be able to monitor brain and emotional activity to back up elderly drivers.” Actually, that sort of sounds like a nightmare, having a car that you don’t fully control. “Oh, I really need to turn, oh, awesome, the car isn’t letting me.” Let’s just hope the airbags are also updated.

One of the ideas out there is that an onboard computer can determine a person’s driving patterns and then curb any dangerous activity. For example, it would simply slow the car down if it feels the person is accelerating for no particular reason. It might also adjust the climate inside the car to keep the driver alert. Hell, I’m not even old and I know I love it when some sort of robot keeps me from doing what I want to or tells me when I’m hot or cold. I’m smart when it comes to those sorts of things … I’m just not “robot smart.”

They say these new technologies they are working on could be available on cars within the next five years. I’m assuming since Toyota is doing the designing, that they will also put these devices on their cars. That makes sense, but I just never really see that many seniors driving around in Camrys. Now if they could put the same devices on a big-assed Lincoln Town Car or one of those old Cadillacs that’s has an interior larger than my bedroom, I could see the old people going for it.

I’m not saying it’s a big waste of money, but I really just don’t see it catching on. Old folks seem to like what is familiar to them and let’s face it, a car that drives itself isn’t familiar to anyone. I’m not sure it’s the best idea to do the market research on the elderly.

Now that I think about it more, it seems like we should put this technology on everyone’s cars. Are the old folks really any worse drivers than the rest of us? Sure, they may be a little slower, but at least most of them seem to be paying attention to the task at hand. In fact, it has almost become a great democracy. Finally, everyone is pretty much equal when it comes to driving. Yeah, we’re all equal and all terrible, but at least that’s something. It’s a shame Toyota can’t develop something that enables a person to pull their head from their ass. Something like that could make us all a little safer.

Michael Coulter