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Recently, we were asked about tribadism, a term neither of us had heard before. Actually, this term is not as rare as our naïveté would suggest. Tribadism, or tribbing, is when two women rub their genitals against each others’ bodies for pleasure. Whether on top of the clothes or naked, this rubbing is part of many women’s sexual behavior — but you might not have known it had a name. “Doin’ It Well” decided we wanted to take a moment to explore the rub of rubbing, tribadism.

What the What?

Tribadism (pronounced trib-a-dism) comes from the Greek word “tribein,” which means “to rub.” But in early Greek and Latin, “tribas” was a term to describe women’s sexual behavior with other women and later became “tribade” in European writings. In the minds of the early Greeks, a tribade was a sexually virile woman who could penetrate males with an enlarged clitoris (or a strap-on). Long before there were concepts of lesbian and sexual orientation, men feared two women’s ability to be sexual without a man. Society has long feared what they don’t understand!

Currently, tribadism refers to two women rubbing their clits and vulvas together for sexual arousal and orgasm. However, it also refers to a woman rubbing her clit against her partner’s thigh, arm, stomach, pubic bone, breast or any other part of her body for sexual arousal. Unlike frottage, which means rubbing against someone or something for sexual gratification (usually without their knowledge), tribadism specifically refers to this rubbing between two (or more) women. Tribadism is also referred to as scissoring, clit-clatting and, when fully clothed, dry humping.

Many women enjoy the sensation of rubbing themselves against their partner or having their partner rub against them, and there are many reasons why tribbing may be a nice mutually enjoyed activity. For starters, tribadism can take place clothed or unclothed, so it can be quick and easy. Also, tribadism allows for simultaneous orgasm, as each woman can control her own stimulation. In addition, some women may be embarrassed or ashamed of their bodies and their sexual desires, and tribadism can be a way to move quickly from a hug to sexual stimulation that may allow partners to momentarily avoid thinking about those shame factors.

What’s It Look Like?

Tribadism can include a lot of different positions, from traditional, like missionary, to more involved, like scissoring. Because tribadism isn’t talked about much, it may be difficult to know exactly how to do it. Here are some basic positions to help your imagination.

Missionary position

Like it sounds, this position looks a lot like the heterosexual missionary position. One woman lies between the other woman’s legs and places her weight on the bottom woman’s pubic bone. Both women can rock their hips to rub their clitorises together.

Crossed missionary position

Like the missionary position, one woman lies down while the other lies on top of her and straddles the lower woman’s thigh. Each woman can rub against the other’s thigh.

Scissors

In the scissors position, two women lie down with their legs “scissoring” their partner and their vulvas touching directly. This position provides the most direct vulva/vulva contact, though partners aren’t as able to touch or kiss each other. This position can also be used with one partner kneeling above (dominant scissors).

Beach position

This is just one of any combination of ways for a woman to rub against her partner. The beach position looks not unlike spooning, and the woman on the outside can rub her clit against her partner’s tailbone or thigh. This could also be done on top of a partner lying on her stomach or standing up, though it might be difficult to find the right angle for stimulation.

Rub the Right Way

Some women may orgasm from tribbing, but others require more direct clitoral stimulation. During tribbing, both partners control the intensity, pressure and speed of the experience. If it doesn’t feel right, move around and find a position that is right for you. If you enjoy tribbing but find it difficult to achieve orgasm, placing a vibrator between both partners can increase stimulation. Also, some women find the experience of tribbing exciting, while others may feel bruised and sore afterward. Talk with your partner to find out what she enjoys and where she might like to trib on you or have you trib on her.

If you’re tribbing clothed, you might want to think about wearing smooth clothes. For instance, silky underwear or pants might create less friction than jeans. If you’re naked, you might want to use plenty of lube to lessen the friction and increase the sensation. Also, there is still a risk of STD transmission during tribbing, so it’s a good idea to consider this risk during skin-to-skin genital contact. If you are unsure of your partner’s status, keeping your clothes on will eliminate this risk.

Check out “Doin’ It Well” next week as we explore sexual harassment.