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I Love You, Beth Cooper

Buzz says:   MPAA Rating: PG-13
Current Showtimes: No showtimes available

I simply can’t believe a 50 year old wrote Chris Columbus’ I Love You Beth Cooper, one of the lamest, unfunny teen romances to cross the silver screen since the genre became so popular decades ago. I remember screenwriter/humorist Larry Doyle, when we wrote for The Daily Illini during our undergrad years in the late ‘70s.

This tale of a nerdy valedictorian’s declaration of his unrequited love for the school’s most popular cheerleader during his class’s graduation has all the potential of a silly male fantasy. Immediately the awkward Dennis Cooverman is labeled a fool by everyone, including a school administrator who rushes him away from the podium. But when golden girl Beth and two of her sidekicks show up at Dennis’ pathetic graduation party—nothing will ever be the same for the sheltered genius when they give him a night he’ll never forget.

Columbus and Doyle, who adapted the screenplay from Doyle’s first novel, load the script with nearly every clichéd teen party film convention from ‘80’s, from Risky Business to many of the John Hughes comedies. They try to milk laughs from endless scenes of the tough guys pounding on weaklings, reckless speeding cars and the potential suspense of when a hot lass will allow one of the nerds to touch some flesh. Was this a parody they were after?

Paul Rust is the pathetic Dennis, who looks remarkably more like the ‘40s comedian Eddie Bracken, than a young David Schwimmer or Dustin Hoffman type. Heroes’ Hayden Paneittiere is the effectively sexy, but shallow Beth. Jack Carpenter gets the film’s few pathetic laughs as Dennis’ best pal, Rich. While many of the jokes in the movie concern Rich's homosexuality, he’s most amusing when he references endless film quotes for nearly every predicament he’s involved.

The film’s other University connection concerns character actor Alan Ruck, who plays Dennis’ considerably cool dad; he also did his undergrad here in the late ‘70s. Regretfully even all this Illini pride cannot rescue this comedy from the recycle heap.